Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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