Just fell off a train. Bad.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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