I'm eating all of the evidence.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
