When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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