How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
