idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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