dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My pussy is not your playground.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
