Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
