T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize