Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
