If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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