i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
