I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
