There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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