At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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