I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
