i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
