Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your penis caused this!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
