I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
