There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize