I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
