so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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