Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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