Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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