That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
