well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
