So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
