The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
