half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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