I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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