Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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