you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize