just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
