Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.