ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again