quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
