She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.