He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.