if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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