Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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  (314): totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came. http://tfl.nu/jfvh
  Replies (17) Good night (6849) Bad night (662)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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  (617): after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/63mj
  Replies (9) Good night (4635) Bad night (1084)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

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  (413): he asked me to hangout with him...and his son http://tfl.nu/p42y
  Replies (17) Good night (1000) Bad night (5343)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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  (313): Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes. http://tfl.nu/gyak
  Replies (8) Good night (3673) Bad night (1617)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (609)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?

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  (918): Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball? http://tfl.nu/b2ii
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (660)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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  (920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (1117)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Liz is crying about burritos again.

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  (443): Liz is crying about burritos again. http://tfl.nu/wqr3
  Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (508)
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  (619): View more from California

  He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

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  (619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (801)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

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  (920): I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset. http://tfl.nu/b5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (628)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?

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  (906): does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex? http://tfl.nu/8dql
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (442)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!

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  (602): OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED! http://tfl.nu/4r77
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (264)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I can't wait to tell mom.

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  (920): He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me? (262): I can't wait to tell mom. http://tfl.nu/c20r
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.

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  (586): Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed. http://tfl.nu/40ub
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (691)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.

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  (505): It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time. http://tfl.nu/ncii
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (215)

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