And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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