I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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