I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
