Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
