What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
