Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
