i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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