she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
