It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
