I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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