This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
