had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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