I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I deserve this hangover.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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