If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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