So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
