This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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