Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
