I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
