So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
