There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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