you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
