I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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