you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
