just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
