We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
