Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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