I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
